


"I forget"

by RedSnow1



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Clara Oswin Oswald's Death, Classroom, Eternity, F/M, Forbidden Love, Goodbyes, Guitars, Love, Missy helps, POV Bill Potts, Post-Episode: s09e10 Face The Raven, Sad Ending, Star-crossed, Twelfth Doctor Era, Twelve teaches, eternal love, i forget, searching for Clara, teacher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:53:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27756442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedSnow1/pseuds/RedSnow1
Summary: She is a shadow at the back of the theatre. Always standing in the darkness, her back up against the wall, listening intently. She leaves before the end of the class and is never to be seen until the next. She is a silhouette following them around, across time and space. Victorian London, Mars, even that damn emoji-planet. She is everywhere. She is nowhere. It scares her. What does she want? Who is she? Why is she here?/OS/Whouffle Week 2020, Day 6 : Eternity
Relationships: Missy & Bill Potts, Twelfth Doctor & Bill Potts, Twelfth Doctor & Missy, Twelfth Doctor/Clara Oswin Oswald
Comments: 25
Kudos: 35
Collections: Whouffle Week 2020





	"I forget"

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again,
> 
> For today, another angsty story I've had in mind for ages. I thought It would fit this prompt. I promise, tomorrow's story will not be as sad as this one is.
> 
> This story was supposed to be even angstier, but even I couldn't write it. It hurt too much.
> 
> This story made my friend @Persephonia1 cry, and she hasn't even seen Doctor Who. I take great pride in the idea that I managed to make her weep hehe. Thank you to my dear friend for her helpful advice and support.
> 
> For this story, I was not-betaed. Since I am French, it is possible that you might find some mistakes. I tried my best not to make too many, but sometimes, I can't help it.
> 
> Happy reading and don't hesitate to leave a comment to let me know what you thought of this story xx

She is a shadow at the back of the theatre. Always standing in the darkness, her back up against the wall, listening intently. She leaves before the end of the class and is never to be seen until the next. She is a silhouette following them around, across time and space. Victorian London, Mars, even that damn emoji-planet. She is everywhere. She is nowhere. It scares her. What does she want? Who is she? Why is she here?

Sometimes, Bill thinks she is going mad, hallucinating this short brunette she has never seen before. She doesn’t look dangerous, but by now, Bill has learnt that appearances mean very little in this wide universe. It could be a trap: a beautiful youthful woman luring her to her death. Her short skirts and revealing blouses won’t work on her, no matter how gorgeous she looks. But that didn’t explain why other people don’t pay attention to her. Maybe she is invisible to them? Is she a ghost designed to hunt her? But if it is her she is after, then why does she keep staring at the Doctor? 

It’s all she does really. She doesn’t take notes, doesn’t participate in debates. She stands there, and seeks his glance.

The worst part is : he doesn’t even see her. But again, he hardly ever sees ordinary people. Pudding Brains, as he calls them — which never fails to make her laugh. She doesn’t look ordinary, though, far from it. There is something unsettling about that brunette — something she can’t put her finger on. She doesn’t belong. She seems to be from another time, another place. She looks as if she has seen more, has lived more, has lost more. She seems young, barely over thirty years old, and yet, she carries the weight of thousands of years of sorrow. Maybe it’s in her eyes. Her big brown eyes filled with regret, longing and anguish. Her pain is palpable — so strong she feels from the back of the room. It’s raw, powerful and almost too much to bear. Bill has been told that her empathy makes her vulnerable. What if instead, it helps her see what anybody else can’t?

The strange woman says nothing — she remains silent and stares at The Doctor. She never takes her eyes off him, barely blinking. Sometimes, Bill can guess a hint of a smile when he says something funny, but mostly, she remains frozen, her pretty lips forming a tight, severe line as if she was trying to repress her emotions.

What does she want with him? To observe him? But there is more to it. Sometimes, Bill can feel that she wants to come out of the shadows. She wants him to see her. Her eyes are begging him, her plea is so loud in her ears.

 _Just see me_.

Bill has thought about talking to her, confronting her about her intentions, but every time she gathers her courage, before she can even walk up to her, the woman is gone. She disappears, never to be found again. Where does she go? She has investigated the premises and so far has had no luck. She only comes to his classes, never missing one, and runs away.

Today is special, though. Today, she sees her again at the bar. Everyone has gathered to celebrate the end of the first term, and she is enjoying her time with her schoolmates, in between adventures with the Doctor. And she is there, sitting in front of her coffee, her dark brown eyes lost beyond. Her fingers play with the spoon, twirling the liquid but she never takes a sip. 

The world moves around her, and yet, she remains completely still. There is something eerie about her, something she has only seen in the Doctor before. It’s like she walks in eternity, like she has seen it all. The strange woman catches her staring, and for a brief moment, their gazes meet. The intensity of it all overwhelms Bill, and she averts her eyes, blushing furiously. 

Thankfully, a movement to the right catches her attention — it’s her favorite teacher, climbing the platform with his guitar. The student smirks. She has never seen such a silly man before. He plugs his instrument, as he always does and begins to play. Students continue to chatter around, not paying attention to him. But Bill can’t take her eyes off of him, completely transfixed by his music. He looks so focused, his brows knitted together as his hands run down the cords. She has never seen him like this, so sombre, so melancholic. He seems lost in the song, lost in his thoughts, in the memories of another time. The melody he plays is sorrowful, nostalgic and utterly beautiful. He usually plays more catchy songs — Bowie, the Beatles… But this particular tune is unknown to her, and yet incredibly familiar. Her heart clenches. It almost sounds like a plea, a call for help. A call to whom?

Naturally, Bill turns her gaze towards the woman, sitting right in front of him. And what she sees disturbs her. The brunette is listening intently and her eyes are shining with tears. She cries silently, and her eyes are getting bigger with every second, her chest heaving. Bill Potts feels a tear running down her cheek, and chases it. All she sees in the other woman’s eyes, is a love that will last for eternity — a love filled with regrets. A silent answer to the Doctor’s call. A goodbye. And it breaks her heart. Why does it feel like an ending? 

Before the song is even over, the woman suddenly rises, and leaves some money on the table. Wiping away some remaining tears, she quickly makes her way out of the bar, leaving behind a trail of sorrow. Bill follows her, abandoning her confused schoolmates, and calls after her, but it is of no use. The brunette is already gone. And so is the newly opened diner from across the street.

She is gone — and for some reason, Bill is sure that she won’t be coming back. 

When she comes back inside, the Doctor has left too.

Later that night, Bill rolls into her bed. The racking of her brain keeps her from sleeping. She wonders if she should tell the Doctor about that strange lady — maybe he knows her? But why doesn’t he see her? Why hadn’t she said something ? Why has he never mentioned her before? Or maybe she is imagining the entire thing. Maybe she is not real. Maybe she never has been. Maybe she is going crazy. She tries to reason with herself, to push all those thoughts away. But she seems so real — and so does her pain.

It keeps her awake at night. Bill Potts can feel a mystery and her curiosity is getting the best of her. She wants to know. She wants to understand why the lady seems familiar somehow. She has never seen her before, anywhere. She would have remembered. Such a beautiful woman would have left her some kind of memory. 

Naturally, she goes to see Missy — after all, hasn’t she travelled with the Doctor for much longer than she has ? She asks her questions about this pretty brunette, about the Doctor’s friends.

Missy is surprised, to say the least, by her request. But she complies. She is really trying to be good and Bill starts to feel the shift in her behavior. She closes the lid of her piano, and comes to sit on the ground. Bill does the same, and they are facing one another, separated only by an invisible fence. And then, Missy starts to tell her the story of a foolish old man who was travelling the universe inside a big blue box, and how he met a beautiful school teacher. She tells her about their adventures, across time and space. About their growing feelings for each other. Missy tells her the story of the Doctor and Clara Oswald, two companions willing to push each other to extreme — the story of a love supposed to last for all eternity until fate decided otherwise.

Bill cries silently while Missy tries to keep it together. They are both affected because it involves the Doctor. Bill cries, and she doesn’t even know Clara, and yet, it feels like she has known her her entire life. 

No, she doesn’t know her — but she recognizes the feeling she exudes. 

She has the sweetness of a song and the melancholy of a rainy night. She reminds her of the feeling she gets every time she hears the Doctor play the guitar — like a hole in a heart, like a bittersweet memory forgotten. 

She reminds her of that sweet tune he had played earlier that night, calling out to her, meant for her ears only.

A call she has answered — before leaving forever.

  
  



End file.
